The Failed Romeo

INT. SAMANTHA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

SAMANTHA covers her bloody right eye with her hand. GLENN hovers nearby. He holds a palm-sized pebble in his hand. The bedroom window is shattered. Pieces of glass are scattered all over the floor.

SAMANTHA

(yells)

Are you fucking kidding me?!

GLENN

Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I- Honey, I-

SAMANTHA

Shut the fuck up, Glenn! Call an ambulance!

GLENN

I did! They said they’re on their way.

It’s not that bad, honey. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

SAMANTHA

Fine? There’s a fucking piece of glass in my fucking right eye!

Tell me what’s fine about that!

GLENN

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. God I’m such an idiot.

SAMANTHA

What the hell did you do?

GLENN

You weren’t answering your phone!

So I decided to come over and-

SAMANTHA

And what? Destroy my cornea?

GLENN

No! I was just trying to get your attention.

You know, like they do in movies. I was just trying to be romantic.

SAMANTHA

Romantic? God, I can’t see a thing. My eye is probably fucked up forever!

Why didn’t you just text me like a normal person?

GLENN

I tried! But you weren’t answering.

And well I thought, you know, to better profess my love-

SAMANTHA

Profess your love? What am I? Juliet?

Life isn’t a Shakespeare play, Glenn!

GLENN

I know. I’m sorry-

SAMANTHA

Glenn. We’re not together anymore.

I thought I made that clear last night.

GLENN

Well-

Samantha groans in pain.

SAMANTHA

God dammit it hurts! Where’s the fucking ambulance?

GLENN

I’ll call again. Wait, where’s my phone? Where-

An ambulance SIREN drowns out Glenn’s words.

SAMANTHA

Thank God.

GLENN

Wait, where’s your purse? Keys? Wallet? Your Phone?

SAMANTHA

Shut up, Glenn! Let’s GO.

EXT. SAMANTHA’S HOUSE – NIGHT

The ambulance is parked on the front lawn. Its backdoor is open. Two EMTs, EMT #1 and EMT #2, stand by the ambulance. They move toward Samantha with a stretcher. Samantha waves it away.

SAMANTHA

I don’t need it. At least I can still walk.

EMT #1 leads Samantha to the ambulance.

EMT #1

What happened?

SAMANTHA

This dumbass over here tried to be Romeo.

GLENN

(pathetically)

I’m sorry.

INT. AMBULANCE – NIGHT

The ambulance doors are open. Samantha sits on the stretcher. Glenn hovers nearby. EMT #2 examines Samantha’s eye.

EMT#2

Looks like the glass penetrated the cornea.

I can’t tell how deep.

SAMANTHA

Fuck. Can you fix it? Will I see again?

EMT #2

I’m sorry. I can’t answer that, ma’am. I don’t know.

SAMANTHA

Fuck.

EMT #2

We’ll get you to the hospital as fast as we can.

Samantha groans in pain.

EMT #2

You must be in a lot of pain. You should be passed out by now.

SAMANTHA

Great. I guess I have a special talent for tolerating pain.

Like Glenn and his rock throwing.

GLENN

Honey-

SAMANTHA

Shut it, Glenn.

EMT #1 approaches with a needle.

SAMANTHA

Wait, what’s that?

EMT #1

I’m just gonna give you some morphine.

Samantha holds out her arm.

EMT #1

Um…actually, Miss, I need to inject you in your buttox.

SAMANTHA

My butt!?

EMT #1 gives her an apologetic nod. Samantha winces, groans in pain and puts a hand to her eye.

SAMANTHA

Ugh whatever just do it!

Samantha pulls down the band of her pants to partly reveal her butt. She looks away as the EMT #1 injects the morphine into her butt. Samantha sighs with relief.

SAMANTHA

Thank God.

Glenn puts the rock into Samantha’s hand.

GLENN

Here it is, honey. See?

SAMANTHA

This is the rock?

How hard did you throw this thing? Jesus, Glenn.

EMT #2

Okay. Let’s go.

EMT #2 gestures to Glenn.

EMT #2 (CONT’D)

This kid coming with us?

GLENN

Of course I’m coming!

The EMTs shrug. They close the ambulance doors with Glenn and Samantha inside.

INT. AMBULANCE – NIGHT

Samantha lies back on the stretcher. Glenn sits next to her. The ambulance moves. Samantha winces.

SAMANTHA

So much for morphine. God there’s so much blood.

Samantha starts to cry.

SAMANTHA (CONT’D)

What if it’s ruined and I can never see again?

GLENN

Oh, honey. Hush. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.

SAMANTHA

Glenn-

GLENN

Sam… I’m so sorry. I just… I don’t want to break up.

Samantha sighs.

SAMANTHA

I know.

GLENN

I love you.

SAMANTHA

(subdued)

I know, Glenn. I got that from the confetti-in-the-locker incident

and the flowers delivered to my homeroom

and the melted chocolate heart left at my door…

GLENN

Oh no. It melted?

SAMANTHA

It doesn’t matter. It was sweet… You’re sweet.

GLENN

You’re sweet too.

SAMANTHA

No I’m not. I’m actually mean to you most of the time.

Glenn and Samantha laugh.

SAMANTHA

Seriously though.

GLENN

Well after you told me about your dad and that

new twenty-something Swedish girlfriend of his-

Samantha scoffs.

SAMANTHA

Oh God.

GLENN

I thought you might’ve needed a pick-me-up.

SAMANTHA

Thanks Glenn.

(beat)

You’ve always been there for me.

GLENN

‘Cause you’re worth it.

SAMANTHA

Really? I am?

GLENN

Yea.

SAMANTHA

You are too…

Samantha laughs nervously.

SAMANTHA (CONT’d)

This morphine must be really powerful.

The throbbing pain’s gone.

Glenn takes Samantha’s hand. Samantha tenderly squeezes his fingers.

SAMANTHA

Oh wait. My hand’s all bloody. Ew.

Glenn and Samantha laugh.

EXT. ROAD – NIGHT

The ambulance goes over a hole in the road.

INT. AMBULANCE – NIGHT

The stretcher jolts. Samantha and Glenn jolt too.

Samantha screams in pain, covering her eye.

SAMANTHA

Glenn you fucking dumbass!

END

-Paola Crespo ©2013

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